Barack Obama is tired of your motherfucking shit!

Ray, a fellow classmate of Obama’s, was also bi-racial, and also trying to define himself. But what set him apart was his colorful manner of self-expression. Ray cursed like a motherfucker.

This would all be snickerworthy enough, but it turns out that Obama actually read the audiobook version of Dreams From My Father.

And that means he read Ray’s quotes.

And that means you’re about to hear the President of United States using language that would finish Cheney off once and for all.

OMG YOU HAVE TO GO LISTEN TO THIS.

Via DymaxionWorldJohn at Cogitamus, whom I totally want to emulate by replacing all the error sounds on my computer with audio files of the President of the United States using foul language. Too bad it's a work computer.

I've been following Biting Beaver's story for the past few weeks as she was first denied emergency contraception, found out she was pregnant, and finally had to pay $450 for the abortion pill. Reading these posts just makes me want to cry. This is what "abortion on-demand" looks like. Biting Beaver did everything she could to avoid getting pregnant. She used regular birth control, which failed. She tried to get EC, and was denied it because she wasn't married or raped. Then she had to go to Planned Parenthood a total of four times to finally get the abortion pill, which causes cramping bad enough that they give you the tylenol with codeine and requires you to take it easy for several weeks afterwards. And costs $450. And because she posted about it on her blog, dozens of "pro-life" people found it necessary to tell her how much they wished she would die, so much do they love life. Here are the links:

I live in rural Ohio and I have been denied EC.

So now, without further ado, the Hall of Shame....or rather, those people to whom I give a great big happy "Fuck off" to.

Hey BB, you dirty whore. GET MARRIED YOU FUCKING SLUT. Have a nice day.

The EC failed.

I have had emails sent to me in the guise of having helpful tips to cause a miscarriage but which really suggested lethal herbs.

When that plus sign showed up I fell to the floor and cried.

I can quite safely say, with complete sincerity, that anyone who says, "Women use abortion for birth control" has never, EVER had an abortion.

++I am currently listening to a mashup of two Nickelback songs called How You Remind Me of Someday. Somebody noticed these songs sound...quite a lot alike. So pretty much the mashup just plays both songs at the same time. And I can't stop laughing. The drums even pick up at the same time.

++uncut_diamond posted a description of what's *really* happening in Canada since gay marriage was legalized. A warning to my Yankee Friends. Just as you suspected, society has fallen apart.

++Somebody pointed out this story about Jesus and JC Chasez. (Not slash! Eww! Get your mind out of the gutter!) The Adventures of JC and JC. You know you want to read it. There's even pictures! What I find most amusing is that she took her JC and Jesus dolls to the supermarket and took pictures of them there.

++Ah, webcomics. Indietits is pictures of little birds saying amusing things. (Yes, THAT kind of tits. The NOT DIRTY kind OMG.) And sometimes the comments are even funnier than the original comic. For example, Things that aren't funny in webcomics, containing tons of extremely horrible comment jokes about dead babies, Helen Keller, women, blacks, and the Holocaust. Or, Meeting Madonna. Or Albert Einstein. What would happen if you played scrabble with Albert Einstein? He'd make up words and be a total punk about it, of course.

++I keep seeing I Harth Darth icons everywhere. And the funniest one, the one that never fails to make me laugh, is from this comic. With his little roboclaw-hand sticking out... *dies*

++Everyone (except picara) can be extremely amused that I just spent several days downloading two episodes of Highlander and one episode of Forever Knight because Callum Keith Rennie appears briefly in all of them. He's got an Irish accent in one of them! *loves*

++Girls' Bike Club IX: Negative, Ghost Rider, the Pattern Is Full. Mocking of both Tom Cruise and Stephen King. And, you know, I find it more amusing everyday that everyone in the whole entire world agrees that Tom Cruise has gone batshit crazy. Though it does make me sad that I now feel sorry for Katie Holmes, whose family really should have kidnapped her for deprogramming by now.

++This came from an I Harth Darth thread, I think. OMGWTF Humor!

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(Ooh, Erin, look at Fraser in my mood icon! Isn't he just a doorbell?)

I am truly in love with the Vin Diesel Information Website. It's even more amusing if you substitute yourself, as in this:

layniek has agreed to star in Britain's National Theatre's new production of Hamlet if they allow her to have sole creative control and cut through all "that whiny bullshit." Her version will consist of one line of dialogue. While restraining uncle Claudius in a headlock, Hamlet growls, "You should have ghosted me when you had the chance, motherfucker!" She then disembowels all the male characters with her thumbs. In the next scene, she steals inside Gertrude's bedroom and skullfucks mother in her sleep. Finally, she fleshes out the rest of the play by giving Ophelia a four and a half hour orgasm that lasts till the end of Act V. The rest is silence.

The site's refusing to respond right now, but I live for the moment when it starts working again.

(Link via nifra_idril and fox1013)

Google Is Adding Major Libraries to Its Database

This is so cool. It looks like you won't actually be able to read the newer stuff online, since it's still under copyright. But you'll be able to search it like at Amazon and read a few pages at a time. The older stuff, though, you'll be able to read entirely online. Here I'd been thinking digital libraries were an idea that wouldn't get off the ground for a long time. Other groups have been doing stuff like this on a smaller scale, I think, but Google's is bound to have a higher profile and be much more extensive.

(Oh, my shower's fixed now. The maintenance guy showed up about half an hour ago to look at it, ran to the hardware store to buy a new handle, came back, and had it fixed in five minutes.)